


we end our day up on the roof

by stitchedwrists



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 18:26:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stitchedwrists/pseuds/stitchedwrists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Zayn's birthday. Liam gets a little lost sometimes. </p>
<p>or: the time Liam decided to stand on the edge of a building 1000 feet in the air drunk off his ass</p>
            </blockquote>





	we end our day up on the roof

**Author's Note:**

> we end our day up on the roof  
> i say i’ll jump, i never do  
> but when i’m drunk i act a fool

Liam and his friends stumble into Zayn’s flat just shy of 7 pm. Some of them look like they’ve already been drinking which doesn’t really surprise him, but he focuses on Liam, who ushers them inside and introduces them to some people. All the while, Zayn can see Liam looking around, presumably for Zayn himself, but Zayn makes no move to get up and greet Liam. Sure, he’s the host, but Liam will find him eventually, and anyway, it’s his birthday (or at least it will be in a few hours). He’s allowed to do whatever he wants.

Finally Liam spots him over at the makeshift breakfast bar where he’s been nursing a beer for most of the evening. Immediately, a smile spreads across his face, his cheeks round and flushed. Zayn watches Liam as he grabs a couple of his friends who had wandered away and leads them over to Zayn.

“Hullo lads,” Zayn greets them with a slight raise of his beer.

Liam’s friends, there’s four of them, he can’t quite remember their names – has only met them a couple of times, all cheer and sing happy birthday loudly and off key before presenting him with a bottle of wine.

Zayn smiles and thanks them, placing the bottle behind him as they repeatedly thank him for inviting them over. Zayn shrugs, uncomfortable, and waves it off with one hand, motioning for them to go back and join the rest of the party which they do eagerly, bright eyes glancing around the flat and everyone in it in awe.

And then it’s just Liam and Zayn. Zayn’s still sitting on the stool, Liam towering in front of him and blocking most of his view of the rest of the party.

“Hi.”

Liam smiles and he looks tired. They’re all tired, but Liam never stops doing things, even during their breaks, but he looks happy enough so Zayn doesn’t say anything.

“Hi. Sorry I didn’t text you, I had to get a new phone. Don’t have your number.”

Zayn shrugs and pulls Liam’s phone from him to put in his number.

“I’ll give you your present tomorrow, okay? I couldn’t bring it today.”

“I thought you were going to stay the night here with Niall and Harry?”

Liam’s smile droops and he sighs, shaking his head. “Yeah, I planned on it, but then uh, the boys and I planned on going out tonight so I’ll just come over in the morning okay?”

Zayn shrugs, trying not to feel disappointed, but then Liam’s looking at him all apologetic with pouty lips and puppy eyes and Zayn laughs, pushing Liam’s face away playfully.

“That only works on Harry, Liam. I know you too well. It’s fine. You better show up on time for breakfast and not drunk though, alright?”

Liam nods seriously, and says “I promise.”

Zayn smiles and tugs at Liam’s shirttail. “Your shirt is ridiculous. Did you steal it from Louis?”

“Hey, don’t be mean,” Liam says, and he’s pouting again.

 

Eventually Zayn has to leave his spot at the bar, but he sticks with Louis or Niall most of the time, letting them guide him through his own party. He spots Liam a few more times that night, mostly hanging out with his own friends, but laughing loudly, and attracting a crowd, all of them eating up whatever story Liam’s telling.

Much later, he finds Liam sitting on the floor in his kitchen with his eyes closed and a mostly full bottle of beer in his limp hand.

“Liam hey, are you alright?” Zayn asks, rushing forward, but Liam evidently just fell asleep because at Zayn’s voice he startles, spilling beer all down his front.

Pulling the bottle out of his hand before he can drop it and cause real damage, Zayn helps him up. Liam staggers drunkenly, but Zayn thinks it’s more from exhaustion considering the way he’s blinking blearily at Zayn.

“Are you alright?” Zayn asks again.

“What happened?”

“I think you decided to take a nap in my kitchen, mate.”

Liam stares at him for a moment before laughing loudly which dissolves into a yawn as he slumps against Zayn’s shoulder.

Zayn sighs, adjusting his grip so Liam can lean on him properly.

“Come on; let’s find you a change of clothes. You’ve ruined Louis’ shirt.”

“It’s _my_ shirt,” Liam mumbles against his neck but allows himself to be dragged to Zayn’s bedroom.

 

Thankfully the party has managed to stay on one floor, so when they get upstairs, it’s fairly quiet. Zayn pulls Liam into his bedroom, closing the door and the noise level drops significantly.

Liam pulls the beer soaked floral shirt off and dumps it on the floor before flopping down on Zayn’s bed, arms spread and eyes closed.

“Alright then. I’ll find you a shirt,” Zayn says as he turns away and heads to his closet.

Pulling the doors open, he examines the meager content, hoping to find something that’ll fit Liam. He hasn’t actually unpacked his bags yet – been living out of them ever since he got home despite not being on tour anymore, so his options are limited.

“I want that plaid one.”

Zayn glances behind him to see Liam lying on side staring at him and the contents of his closet.

Rolling his eyes he turns back around to pull the plaid shirt in question off its hanger.

“Of course you want this one. It’s yours,” Zayn says handing the shirt over.

“Then why do you have it?” Lam asks, sliding his arms through the shirt.

“It _was_ yours.” Zayn corrects himself. “I don’t think it’ll fit you anymore though,” he says, eyeing him skeptically.

“Fits perfectly.” Liam says, buttoning the shirt up.

It doesn’t actually. It’s a bit tight around his shoulders and Zayn’s positive if Liam flexes even the slightest bit, his stupid biceps will tear the shirt, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he sits down on the bed next to Liam and rests his head on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you stay? You’re obviously tired if you thought taking a nap in my kitchen while there were a hundred people in the next room was a good idea.”

“I promised the lads.”

“I know but it’s already pretty late, where will you go?” He knows he’s whining. He can tell. It almost sounds like he’s ten again, begging to stay up a little later and he hates it, but still. He’s got to try.

“It’s midnight.” Liam says, pulling away so Zayn has to look at him. “Happy birthday.” And then Liam’s leaning in and for some reason Zayn’s eyes flutter shut and then Liam’s pressing his lips against his forehead and Zayn’s nose is brushing against Liam’s neck. He doesn’t even have a chance to curl a hand around Liam’s waist and pull him closer before he’s moving away.

“Good night, Zayn” Liam whispers and then he’s out the door.

Zayn’s not sure how long he stays in his bedroom, but when he makes his way downstairs, there’s only a few people left, and Liam and his friends are not among them.

 

He’s only been asleep for what feels like a few minutes when his phone starts buzzing. Groaning, he shoves it under an extra pillow and sinks deeper into his cocoon of blankets. Unfortunately his phone won’t stop vibrating, and he gives up, reaching for it.

There’s a missed call from Louis. Just before he can send Louis an angry text for waking him up at seven am on his birthday, his phone starts vibrating again and he quickly answers it.

“Louis, what the hell,” he grumbles, yawning widely.

“Do you know where Liam is?” Louis asks.

“Not here,” Zayn sighs.

“Yes, I know, but do you know where he is?”

“No, I dunno. He said he was going out with his friends but he’d come over today.”

Louis doesn’t say anything to that and Zayn starts worrying.

“Why? Did something happen? Louis? What happened?” Zayn asks sitting up and putting Louis on speaker so he can quickly check his phone for any awful news, but there’s nothing.

“It’s nothing really. I’m just worried about him, I don’t know. It’s fine, I’ll talk to him today when we all meet up, I guess.”

“Wait, Louis, what happened?” Zayn asks quickly before Louis can hang up.

“Check his twitter. I’ll see you tonight, okay? Sorry for waking you up.”

He’s gone before Zayn can say anything else but it doesn’t matter because Zayn’s logging on to twitter and quickly checking his feed.

Liam’s only tweeted twice in the past twenty four hours.

“Rap battles in the car so funny aha” and “Had some strange dreams yesterday wonder what they all mean.” Looking at the timestamps on the tweets and counting back the hours in his head, the first tweet was from earlier yesterday, before Zayn’s birthday party, presumably when he was with his friends, and the second tweet is from today, very early morning, around three am, Zayn guesses, but neither of the tweets explain what Louis was worried about.

Searching Liam’s name brings up hundreds of people retweeting and replying to a certain @wilkzyftw. Clicking on his name, Zayn recognizes him as one of Liam’s mates. He doesn’t have to scroll far before he finds the photo of Liam standing on the edge of a building. He’s terrified of heights and this photo only makes him panic more, the hand not holding the phone curling uselessly around his sheets. He wants to pull Liam back into his room like they were before. Press his face against his neck and just hold him.

He reads the tweet above the photo: “would this guy kindly step of the roof that’s 1000 foot drop! #risky,” which doesn’t help at all. He feels like his heart’s literally about to crawl out of his mouth but he can’t stop staring at the photo. With shaking hands, he exits out of twitter and pulls up Liam’s number and hits call.

The phone seems to ring for an impossibly long time before Liam finally picks up.

“Zayn, hey!” Liam answers, and just his voice alone quells some of the panic but Zayn’s still scared. Still terrified of all the dumb things Liam does, and has been doing increasingly more often lately. He doesn’t quite understand any of it, doesn’t know why Liam would be so reckless. Sure they’ve all been a little rebellious, it’s to be expected, but none of them have ever been so careless with their own lives. He’s terrified and angry and he doesn’t understand, and it’s been a very long time since Zayn’s had trouble understanding Liam.

“What are you doing?” Zayn asks. He’s sitting up in bed, feet on the cold wood floor, head ducked and eyes closed as the room lightens around him.

Liam’s silent for a few minutes, the sound of his breathing and white noise filtering in from wherever he is at the moment. Finally he replies, and it’s slow, each word a soft sigh, “I’m watching the sunrise.”

Zayn lifts his head to look out the window and he notices that yes, the sun is in fact rising.

“I’m watching the sunrise too.” They’re silent after that again until Liam asks Zayn why he’s awake.

“Louis called me. Saw your friend’s photo on twitter.”

Again, Liam doesn’t say anything for a while and Zayn wonders if he even knows how worried they’ve been about him lately.

“I was just having-”

“Don’t. We both know that’s not true. Tell your friends to go home, call a cab and be at my flat within the hour.”

“Alright,” Liam says quietly.

 

Liam shows up half an hour later. Zayn waits by the door so he can get it before the bell wakes Niall or Harry who are sleeping in the guest rooms upstairs. He’s wearing the same thing he left the party in last night, reeking of cigarettes and booze and looking like he’s about to fall dead on his feet.

Zayn motions for Liam to follow him and he does. Back in his own room, Zayn closes the door softly behind him before turning to look at Liam.

“Sleep first, talk later.”

Liam doesn’t say anything to confirm he’s heard what Zayn has said but when Zayn crawls back into bed, he sees Liam stripping down to his briefs before slipping in to the side of the bed Zayn’s left for him. The sun’s mostly up now, painting the room in bright shades of blue and pink but Zayn can’t be bothered to pull the curtains closed. Liam’s lying on his side, facing Zayn, eyes closed and if it weren’t for his uneven breathing, Zayn would think he was asleep already.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Liam says, eyes still closed and with his head ducked so Zayn can only see the line of his brow. “I was drunk and it just seemed like a good idea.” His voice is soft, lazy and lilting, the way it sometimes gets after he’s smoked a bowl.

“You could have died.” Zayn whispers.

He can’t even begin to imagine it. Not even in his worst nightmares but it’s true. He could have. Drunk and standing on the ledge of a high-rise? He can feel himself panicking again, his breath coming out in short, quick bursts as he imagines Liam getting hurt or worse because of his stupid belief that he’s invincible. Imagines getting a call in the morning and finding out something horrible happened all while Zayn was asleep. He automatically reaches out for Liam to remind himself that nothing’s happened yet, but Liam beats him to it, holding his shaking hands by the wrist.

“Breathe.” His eyes are open now and he’s staring at Zayn, “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“ _This_ time. Why would you ever - ” Zayn’s not sure how to even end that question or what exactly he’s trying to say so he lets it hang in the air.

“It was stupid. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

His eyes are downcast now and he seems embarrassed and Zayn desperately wants to let it go, just put this all behind them but he finally has the chance to get an answer to the question he’s been wanting to ask Liam.

“Why don’t you ever stop?”

Liam looks up and he seems surprised, eyes wide as he struggles for an answer, but Zayn knows he’s pretending – knows that Liam knows exactly what he’s asking and has an answer, an honest answer, he’s just stalling for time.

“You don’t have to be on all the time, Li. You’re allowed to take breaks. Give yourself a break sometimes.” He can feel himself falling asleep, eyelids getting heavier every time he blinks but this is important. It’s important that he gets this across to Liam.

“I forget sometimes,” Liam whispers so quietly that Zayn has to lean in to hear despite there being less than a foot of space between them. “When I’m not with you, sometimes I forget I’m here at all so I just need to remind myself.

“You’re here.” Zayn replies, placing a hand on Liam’s chest. “You’re always here with me.” Sliding his hand up, he curves it around Liam’s neck, pulling him down slightly so he can press his lips against Liam’s. “I’ll remind you.”

Liam kisses back lightly before tucking his head against the curve of Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn smiles, and turns his head to press a quick kiss against his temple.

“Now sleep. We’ll get lunch with the lads this afternoon and then you’ll come with me to see my family, okay?”

“Okay.”  

And they sleep like that, tucked into each other, as the world wakes up around them. 

**Author's Note:**

> Liam does a lot of dumb things, but that standing drunk on the ledge of a building was probably the worst and I had a minor freak out over it and everyone was talking about why he would do something so reckless and I don't know. In a way I understand but at the same it's still really fucking stupid and I'm really mad about it.


End file.
